Had a conversation last night with a Faith going through detox. He has been told so many conflicting things. Don’t stay with mum as she is an alcohol free zone and you must not stop drinking without meds and supervision. Don’t listen to mum she doesn’t understand alcoholism and the dangers of stopping drinking. I want to scream at these people who dish out advice without knowing the bigger picture.
I have lived with alcoholism for 10 years, I think I know more about how the alcoholic feels and why they act as they do than these so-called experts. When your child is sick you find out all you can about their illness don’t you? This can’t just be me?
I do know how dangerous it is to stop drinking without medical help, I have been the one on the phone saying how sick my son is and how frightened I am. I have seen him hallucinating (when he was in a controlled rehab detox situation) and fitting when not. He became so sick he was sent to hospital from rehab and had a brain scan. I have seen him being sick unable to keep fluids down for days on end, I do get it!!
I also know from mothers instinct, time spent with him, this never-ending journey, when he can detox safely, when he does not need to be told to keep drinking, when at the end of that time of drinking (because he has been told to drink) I will be concerned about how safe he is to detox on his own.
Sorry but his confused mind has been more confused by this so-called help and at the end of the day when they go home, I am left with the confusion, because at this time I cannot walk away because I understand his confusion, it mixes with mine.
Because he has also been told to go to my house, (a place of safety and sobriety) by his buddy who does know him and how he works and who I am, because she thinks it is the best place for him to be at this moment in time.
I wish and understand at the end of the day it is Faith who should make these decisions himself, but with all this conflicting advice and his own alcoholic brain screaming at him what chance does he have to make any decision
I think the only people who can give him real advice are the people who have walked his path before him.
I have laid down a new rule tonight which he has accepted.
When he is in my home because he wants so try to find sobriety he must go to AA meetings.
When I first set down the rule of no alcohol in my home it was hard at for him to accept. He tried to break it but finally accepted. But he has accepted now and I think he finds a relief in it.
I hope my new rule will help him find his way to sobriety.
I can’t make him, but I do know how much my support means to him, I hope it helps to lead him in the right direction.
I know this is not stepping back and letting his higher power take over as I am supposed to do.
We have both tried that.
Tonight he has decided to go home.
So he is not ready to accept the new rule yet.
All I can do is wait, hopefully he will accept soon.