Wish I did not need to fight

“Sometimes life knocks you on your ass… get up, get up, get up!!! Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.”
Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Bit tired and overwhelmed.

Faith called me today, he was here going through detox withdrawal, I had a few saved tablets from last time, I mean a few, 3. which I used to help him through, he seemed to be over the worse and nearly back to normal,  then decided to go home, maybe my new rule pushed him, if he wants to stay here to try to find sobriety he must attend AA meetings. For whatever reason he went back to his flat.

I spoke to him this morning and he told me he had to go home as he needed to drink and couldn’t at mine.

Glad my rules are sticking.

Now he wants to come back. I try to explain that I cannot keep going through this. Looking after him while he is sick , then he goes back home and to drinking.

He tells me to call in a while. I know he has made his choice.

So have done the things I need to do, gone home, called again, know he’s drinking so let go.

I will now wait to have that call “I need help” but I am a little scared as the guy at hospital has put in place that he should not get the tablets he needs for detox as he feels he does not need them from the doctor or hospital.

I feel a fight looming on the horizon, I understand what his hospital guy is saying, this is something Faith thinks he can rely on when he wants to stop drinking, if it’s not there maybe he wont? will? I just don’t know, all I know is it falls into my life, and I don’t know what to do now. I am the one that at the end of the day needs to decide when he is going through withdrawal if he needs an ambulance, but they have also been warned not to accept him unless he is really ill.

I feel pretty much dumped on.

Feel very much its been left to me.

This is probably very much jumbled, just me putting into words what I am feeling.



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