Well it hasn’t been exactly no contact over the last few days but it has been minimal and I have refused to be drawn into their dramas.
I finally had a phonecall apologising. It wasn’t a total apology and I still don’t think Faith realised how wrong and hurtful he had been. They tried to tell me the police had called and apologised to them! What!!! Are you serious? I honestly believe they don’t know what is fact and what is fiction in their alcohol affected brains.
I’m afraid I didn’t just accept his apology simply because I felt he was saying sorry but he didn’t know what for. I told him very clearly about the untruths he and Hope had accused me of. He couldn’t grasp what I was saying and phoned me later asking questions but he had the whole situation confused again.
I’m worried his brain is being permanently affected now.
The next time he called, I let it go to answerphone, he was looking for sympathy again. “We are both sick, we must have picked up a bug, we can’t keep water down”
This is where, what to you or me would just be an annoying unpleasant thing to deal with, for a dependant alcoholic, it can be much more serious. If you can’t keep water down you can’t keep alcohol down either. Which then causes much more serious symptoms.
I just replied by message “You had better both go to hospital then”
That’s all, no sympathy.
I later hear they both were admitted to hospital at different times. Faith was kept in for 2 days.
He called to let me know he was on his way home, again it went to answerphone. It was good to hear him sounding sober.
But I know it won’t last, the hospital will have discharged him telling him to have small amounts of alcohol to help with the symptoms of withdrawal.
I didn’t believe this, until I heard it for myself.
He is an alcoholic, he can’t have “just a small amount”
So he will return to his drinking, I know this for a fact.
So it has worked for me, stepping back, life for me has been calmer.
It doesn’t stop this ache in my heart and fear in my stomach though.