Less contact and a period of calm for me, but it doesn’t take away the worry

Well it hasn’t been exactly no contact over the last few days but it has been minimal and I have refused to be drawn into their dramas.

I finally had a phonecall apologising. It wasn’t a total apology and I still don’t think Faith realised how wrong and hurtful he had been. They tried to tell me the police had called and apologised to them!  What!!!  Are you serious?  I honestly believe they don’t know what is fact and what is fiction in their alcohol affected brains.

I’m afraid I didn’t just accept his apology simply because I felt he was saying sorry but he didn’t know what for.  I told him very clearly about the untruths he and Hope had accused me of. He couldn’t grasp what I was saying and phoned me later asking questions but he had the whole situation confused again.

I’m worried his brain is being permanently affected now.

The next time he called, I let it go to answerphone, he was looking for sympathy again.  “We are both sick,  we must have picked up a bug, we can’t keep water down”

This is where, what to you or me would just be an annoying unpleasant thing to deal with,  for a dependant alcoholic, it can be much more serious.  If you can’t keep water down you can’t keep alcohol down either. Which then causes much more serious symptoms.

I just replied by message “You had better both go to hospital then”

That’s all,  no sympathy.

I later hear they both were admitted to hospital at different times.  Faith was kept in for 2 days.

He called to let me know he was on his way home,  again it went to answerphone.  It was good to hear him sounding sober.

But I know it won’t last,  the hospital will have discharged him telling him to have small amounts of alcohol to help with the symptoms of withdrawal.

I didn’t believe this,  until I heard it for myself.

He is an alcoholic,  he can’t have “just a small amount”

So he will return to his drinking, I know this for a fact.

So it has worked for me, stepping back, life for me has been calmer.

It doesn’t stop this ache in my heart and fear in my stomach though.

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4 thoughts on “Less contact and a period of calm for me, but it doesn’t take away the worry

  1. Hello, I can sort of relate to what you are going through. My son was an alcoholic for a bit until he went full blown in to a heroin addict. We went through several rehabs. He was in that situation for 7 years and he is now 7 years sober. I on the other hand age about 20 years in those 7 years. It sounds like you are getting it right. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

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    • Hi Merecovering, I don’t think I’m getting it right, I’m on a roller-coaster of stepping back then getting involved again. It’s good to hear about someone who has achieved sobriety, gives me hope that he might get there one day. It seems less and less likely though. Thank you for your prayers, much needed

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    • Thanks Kate, yes it does help, stops it all going round in my head when I write it down. I never expected anyone to read it let alone comment on it. Writing about it kinda sorts out my thoughts and puts them to bed (for a while)

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