Saturday, love it, no work!
My elderly parents often visit on a Saturday morning, its their little trip out. Faith called, “are they coming over? OK I will come round” Good news, he’s feeling well and wants to see his grandparents.
My partner was working in the garden on the summer-house and I was a little concerned as he is still recovering from a hip replacement op. I messaged Faith to ask if he could help if he was coming over…….. big mistake!
I had forgotten that he can’t deal with changes to plans or unexpected things happening.
Now he would have to change, he had made an effort to be smart for his grandparents, he didn’t know what to do, total panic. I wished I hadn’t suggested it, but I knew if he did help he would get just a little bit of self-worth.
in the end after many messages he walks in, smiles at his grandparents like all is wonderful with the world.
I’m pleased he got over his panic and made it over. I take my parents out and leave him to help with the summer-house roof repairs.
When we return he is eating lunch and smiling. For once he got over his fear of failure and did something constructive and got something back.
I drop him home and thank him. He comments that he indeed was needed and was happy to help.
This is what he needs everyday, maybe then he will start believing in himself. I certainly do.
Its been a quiet day, met Faith tonight briefly after work, he seems Ok, and as he is OK he’s back to being concerned about his body and health. He’s checked out the new tablets prescribed by doctor, all the pros and cons benefits and side affects. How can someone this concerned about health. poison their body with alcohol?
That is I guess addiction.
He was a fitness instructor. He knows all about health fitness and the body. Too much I think sometimes.
How I love this son of mine and I am learning to love him on these good days and let the others just go.
I’ve been reading lots, I came across a comment that seemed to ring home as so true.
Faith seems to be in this never-ending circle, recovering, sober for a while then back on it, This seemed to say what I’m guessing he feels, Last time he was sober he did say, “I get sober. go through all that, but nothing changes”.
Day eight was harder for him than day one and two. At day’s one and two he had a reason to stay sober. At day eight he was hating life, himself, me, and sobriety.
Tonight he’s good, in his own home, sober and OK, only just OK but OK, I wish he would look and find these inspirational words, I am still learning, I am like a sponge, I want as much information as possible. I feel I am more qualified than his buddy, maybe a change of career for me is what I need to do, who knows.