A quiet day, no madness, it nearly feels normal

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When I woke, I called Faith. Yes I know, I know I said I was stepping back, and I am. But he called me in the early hours, I didn’t answer but he left a message which I listened to this morning.

It was more accusations. “Why had I called the police, now I had messed everything up. I am so angry with you” I didn’t listen to all of it, there was no point.

I wanted to call him in the morning when he was sober tell him one last time –

I called the police last week when you were confused and sat by a busy road because I was frightened for your safety.

I did not mention Hope, your girlfriend or her son.

I did not call Hopes mother, she called me.

If you do not want me to react when I am concerned about you I cannot know what is happening in your life.

So I am stepping out of it .

Of course he was still drunk and groggy, he didn’t take it in. But I had said it. I needed to, to make it real for me.

I have had two calls today when I was at work. Both times I didn’t answer. When I listened to the messages he left, there were more accusations, I was glad I didn’t answer. It made me more determined.

Tonight I have been out for my excercise class and I feel more relaxed. The worry is still there but I feel calmer.

How long can I keep this up? I know I must for both of us.

 

 

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