Well I promised an update yesterday, so here goes.
It looks like it’s been two years since I really wrote on here. I’m sad to read back through my last few blogs and realise not much has changed. Faith is still drinking., still having spells in hospital, then short spells of sobriety.
He still has the girlfriend that he met when he was in rehab. That, you would think would be a positive. But it has just caused more chaos in his already chaotic life.
She would visit every few weeks as she lived a fair distance away. And it was a relief when she visited. Faith was drinking heavily, when she wasn’t there, he would go days or even a week sometimes without eating, just drinking, he became very thin and weak. Sometimes he wouldn’t answer his phone and so many times I had to go check on him, afraid I might find him dead. So when she visited, she made him eat and controlled his drinking a little. I was always happy when she came to visit him, a break for me from the constant worry.
She had not had a drink since she had come out of rehab. I couldn’t understand why she kept coming back to see him. When she visited she always seemed to get sick, she said it was the stress of looking after him. Sometimes she was physically sick, then she started having fits when she visited.
Faith was having periods of sobriety during this time. When he got really sick he would be admitted to hospital, the hospital would put him on detox tablets. I started to notice a pattern. If Faith was drinking his girlfriend seemed to stay well during her visit. When he was sober, she would be ill, sometimes admitted to hospital.
I spoke to Faith about it. I asked the question that had been going through my mind for a while “do you think she could be drinking” “of course not, no, no way, she doesn’t drink, no she wouldn’t.”
Then it happened, He called me one night “mum she’s had a fit again, but she won’t go to hospital. It’s OK I know how to look after her” OK, but if you get worried, if she gets worse, you must call an ambulance I told him.
He called me later from the hospital. She’d had another major fit, she had been taken through to majors, and then “They are treating her for alcohol withdrawal”
So the truth was out. Faith afterwards admitted he had noticed how she always took her handbag to the bathroom and found excuses to go to the shop on her own. I was surprised he had been taken in for so long, he should have known the signs. He was angry she had deceived him when he had always admitted to her when he was drinking, even though she said she would leave him if he drank again. Now he knew why she never did leave him.
So it was left to me to call her parents, they needed to be told she was in hospital, I had to give them the news that I thought would devastate them. I knew the feeling only too well. When they are sober and you hope with all your heart, this time will be the time they stay sober, when you discover they are drinking again, your heart dies a little more, your hope is gone, you know it’s back to the madness. And I had to deliver this news.
I don’t know why I thought they wouldn’t know, she lived with them, how would they not know. I was the one who was shocked when they told me she had been drinking since she came out of rehab. They couldn’t understand why Faith still wanted to see her, they didn’t know he was drinking. What a web of lies and deceit this alcohol spreads.
So now I have two alcoholics in my life.
And there’s more to tell, the story goes on…….
I’m going to try and add a note of positivity at the end of each post. There must always be a positive.
Today my positive is the fact I have found a friend that understands how I feel, that I can talk to and know they won’t judge. Faiths girlfriends mother of course.