Has it really been a year since I last wrote on here?
I stopped writing because I gave Faith links to this site and other bloggers who write about their battles to stay sober. I thought it might help him. But as usual he didn’t listen.
I didn’t want him to know I was writing on here but feel it’s safe for me do so again.
It’s actually quite good to look back over the year and realise how far he has come, even though he is still drinking. So what has happened over the year for me to say that?
I guess the main thing that happened was something awful at the time but was in fact the best thing that could have happened. Faith went back to his drinking mate and in their drunken stupor they had a fight, about alcohol of course. But the police were called and of course they looked on it as a young man attacking an old man and they charged Faith with assault. He was taken to the Police Station and later the hospital where it was discovered he had a broken nose.
He was interviewed and things really were not looking good for him. They really believed that he had attacked his buddy. He went into total meltdown not able to function at all. I was still keeping my distance from him and trying to do the stepping back, making him take responsibility for himself and his actions.
But I realised he was in no fit state to fight his own corner, and an unjust criminal record would not help him. So I emailed his solicitor, explained that he had far worse injuries than his mate and I also mentioned that he was classed as vulnerable and I had great concerns that he had been groomed by this individual which could be backed up by medical staff. Thank goodness it worked and charges were dropped. But the positive was he and his mate were not allowed to contact each other. Faith was petrified of being charged again so since then they have had no contact. So that is the really positive thing to come out of it.
But he continued his drinking, getting ill, hospital, sober for about 10 days, then drinking again cycle. And I kept my distance as much as I could. But I realised he was getting thinner and sicker and had to try one last time to help him. I know, I know, he has to help himself but it’s so very hard as a mum to watch.
Even though his NHS buddy told me there was no funding available for rehab I investigated myself and discovered the wonderful rehab unit that he had been to before had a charity linked to it and was able to offer a few places. To give her her due, once I told his NHS buddie this she put everything into action and he was eventually offered a place.
Heaven for me, a whole six weeks without that constant worry. And again some hope that he might, just might have a chance of leading a sober life. It’s not until that worry is taken away that you realise how very draining it is and how it affects your everyday life.
6 weeks later and he’s out. I’m away on holiday but he calls, all good, he’s positive, in fact he’s on top of the world, and he has news for me. He has a girlfriend, someone he met in rehab so they both know everything about each other, no secrets and most importantly no drinking. Wow can it get any better?
I enjoy the first holiday in years without phone calls from hospital. Life is wonderful with a sober son.
That was in October, how long will it last……….