And so the never-ending circle goes on.

I’ve left him alone, tried to forget, not called.

Then the phone rings and its him. I’m sorry I can’t do this on my own, I have tried, I know you have so much going on I don’t want to do this to you but I have tried and I just can’t stop on my own, Please can I come back to yours.

What do I say, this isn’t a drunk just asking for a roof over his head, this is my son saying I want to stop but I cant on my own, I need your help.

But I still have my Al Anon voice talking to me saying he has to find his own way of doing this. But I know his buddy is now out of the picture for 2 weeks, he had already  lost a stone in weight again even before this last bout.

So Faith is back, shut in his bedroom, he doesn’t come out when he is going through this, just for water, he is too sick to eat and to shaky to hold a plate. I’m worried and allow him a small glass of wine (breaking my own rules) but that is it, I know even that will prolong symptoms, but he shakes so much he can’t sleep and I need sleep.

He gets through the night, I can hear his distress through the walls but try to shut it out.

Another 24 hours and he has eaten a little. The sickness has stopped, The shaking is not so violent. He is starting to sound a little like himself now.

He suffers with nerve pain now. This is something that has gradually been worsening, he describes it as someone pricking his body with needles. This I can deal with, it does make me angry that the people whose care he is under say he should not be suffering withdrawal as he has such short bouts of drinking now, so needs no medication to help him through.

Well I wish they would spend one night in his shoes or mine and then tell me that.

Tonight I will sleep, his sleep will be broken but then he has nothing to do all day tomorrow but lie in his bed.

I have a doctor’s appointment this week, first time I have ever asked for help, this is really draining me

I miss my daughter dreadfully at the moment. I would normally share with her, but as she is on the other side of the world I don’t like to worry her.

At least tonight Faith is sober. That is my positive for the day.


2 thoughts on “

  1. My heart is with you. I was where you are now, but with my husband. It is so great to see that you are in Al-Anon and have some support. When I went through this, I was alone, and made sure I stayed alone. Until my husband asked for help from his family, and they came through. Thank goodness. Long story short, he is now in recovery and doing well so far. This Thursday will mark three weeks out of Rehab and almost two months sober for him. I never, EVER thought we’d get here. But we did. I encourage you to follow Al-Anon’s teachings. Let him fall. It will be the worst thing you go through, but … it will also be the best.

    Your son is asking for help, and that’s a good sign. The one point I worry about are the dangers of going through withdrawal without being under medical supervision. When my husband did finally go to the hospital to detox, the medical professionals there told us that alcohol is the only drug that someone can detox from that they can die from, unless they have medical help to manage things like vomiting, dehydration, seizures, hallucinations …

    My thoughts are with you. In my heart, I’m holding your hand 🙂


    • Thank you. At some point I will put more on my front page explaining more about this journey. It started 15 years ago.
      I am really happy that your husband has found his sobriety. It’s always good to hear a positive story is gives me hope.
      I’m very well aware of the dangers of withdrawal, this is what makes me angry, the official care that he has in place do not think he drinks enough now to suffer dangerous symptoms. He has been through rehab and had to be transfered to hospital as he was so ill.
      Thank you for your comment, all the family are aware and although they don’t really understand it does help that they know.
      A positive start to my day, and hopefully a sober day for Faith x

      Liked by 1 person

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