When I woke, I called Faith. Yes I know, I know I said I was stepping back, and I am. But he called me in the early hours, I didn’t answer but he left a message which I listened to this morning.
It was more accusations. “Why had I called the police, now I had messed everything up. I am so angry with you” I didn’t listen to all of it, there was no point.
I wanted to call him in the morning when he was sober tell him one last time –
I called the police last week when you were confused and sat by a busy road because I was frightened for your safety.
I did not mention Hope, your girlfriend or her son.
I did not call Hopes mother, she called me.
If you do not want me to react when I am concerned about you I cannot know what is happening in your life.
So I am stepping out of it .
Of course he was still drunk and groggy, he didn’t take it in. But I had said it. I needed to, to make it real for me.
I have had two calls today when I was at work. Both times I didn’t answer. When I listened to the messages he left, there were more accusations, I was glad I didn’t answer. It made me more determined.
Tonight I have been out for my excercise class and I feel more relaxed. The worry is still there but I feel calmer.
How long can I keep this up? I know I must for both of us.
As a mother of an alcoholic 